


dangers of proximity.

by fictitiously



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Undercover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 11:25:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1385884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictitiously/pseuds/fictitiously
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The dangerous part of undercover; being around someone long enough for him to figure you out.<br/>The scariest thing about this; by the end of it you'll be looking at her like looking in a mirror.<br/>The problem with this job; when you're living undercover it's not as easy to push people away.<br/>(Gail and Luke, nine months of undercover)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's semi chronological, but not exactly. I started this as a short little drabble back in the summer and then never finished and now I just started back up again and it's turned into a monster. You've been warned. It starts somewhere midseason 4, sometime after Gail visit's Perik in jail.

**01:**

_They're not friends._ Gail and Luke. They're colleagues, co-workers, partners. _They're not friends._

 

But now they've been living together like a couple for a few months.They eat breakfast together and argue over who was supposed to pick up milk at the store .

(Gail doesn't even like milk, why on earth would she volunteer to go get something _she doesn't even like_?).

 

Gail and Luke might not be friends, but Ray and Olivia make a pretty solid couple.

They enter the dark basement bar and hold hands while Alexei Marikov buys them drinks, he puts his arm around her when they sit in the park with Peter Vidlova, she watchs him from her seat at the bar and giggles at his jokes while he plays poker.

But she still hates when they kiss. Her skin gets cold and heart races and she just wants to crawl out of these clothes, back into her uniform and run back to fifteen.

And later when he tells her she needs to stop flinching when he puts his mouth on hers, she rolls her eyes and says "Your beard, it feels like a brillo pad, Luke." her lips pout in disgust.

 

 - - -

He's at 15 division, assisting with a homicide since Steve Peck needs Traci's "help" for the week.

Sam's about to make a big gang arrest. But Blackstone comes in, looking as scruffy and self-righteous as ever, saying "Don't". Luke's knows about the case, of course he does. They've been trying to get the Marikovs for years.

 

_He's been trying to get the Marikovs for years._

 

Luke's standing in the doorway , while Sam's pacing back and forth ,yelling, telling Blackstone how much of selfish asshole he is.

(It might have something to do with the fact that he almost got Swarek's ex-girlfriend,  _Luke's ex-fiance_  killed. Maybe that's it.)

But Blackstone  just sits with his feet on the table and laughs. He turns to Luke , waves him into the room with his hand, grins and says " _Ray Fisher is back , Callaghan."_

 

**02:**

Before Homicide, Luke Callaghan was somewhat of a posterboy for undercover. Swarek had nothing on Callaghan. 

 

_Living as another person changes you._

Luke's not dramatic. Luke's always been logical, he's always been realistic, practical, and mostly unemotional.

_(Except when it comes to the women he's loved.)_

 

But all of his pretending to be a bad person, all the bad things he'd in the process, all to catch the real "bad guys", they all ran together by now. He's posed as every type of low life you could imagine and can barely remember the details.

_But he'll never forget being Ray Fisher._

 - - -

Callaghan and Blackstone establish a new story for Ray Fisher, where he's been the past 8 years, who he's been with and what he's done.

"Last time you had a sister with you right?" Blackstone asks, but the look in his eye shows he already knows the answer to that.

 

(He already knows that Callaghan and Rosati's first job together was playing brother and sister. Ironic. )

_He doesn't even have time to answer before Jo is walking through the door._

 

**03:**

 Jo grins as she joins Blackstone and Callaghan in Swarek's office.

(Another thing Swarek's had that was once his.)

 

"Don't worry Luke. I'm not joining you." she laughs "Not exactly."

"Your sister, Claire will make the occasional visit." Blackstone explained. "Rosati's going to be working on this with me, and her role will make our debriefings a little easier."

_For once Luke actually wishes he was working with Swarek, even Andy._

"You won't be living with Claire, this time. But Ray Fisher's an engaged man now. " He continues.

Jo smiles wide.

 

_"Pick your fiance wisely , Luke."_

 

 - - -

 

_Gail's not the divisions first choice to go undercover, but she's the only one he'll take._

Frank knows better than to suggest giving him Andy.  Traci's out of the question. As is Chloe, who is definitely in no way cut out for undercover. Frank says Cruz. And Frank's right she'd be good at it. But, he still isn't satisfied. She's a good cop, but him and Marlo, it would take some work. And there's something about her that makes him wary and he can't quite put his finger on it.

 

_And who is he kidding, he wants Peck._

 

He's seen Gail at her worst, and he's seen her at her strongest. She's tough to deal with, but he can handle her.

_He makes sure she's in earshot of Frank's office when he suggests it._

"I want Peck to go with me." he says, a little too loud, as she walks by.

She pokes her head in, "You've been back here for less than a day, _Homicide_ and you're already trying to ruin my life?"

He looks at Frank, who gives a hesitant nod of approval. "Come in Peck."

\---

It's a stupid fear honestly. It's embarassing, especially coming from Gail. But the idea of living with Luke makes her unbelievably nervous. Maybe it's because they're alot more alike then he'd ever admit.

They're both good at pretending. They're good at hiding. They're good at figuring other people out but they don't want to be found out themselves.

 

Gail's good at what she does, a long term undercover assignment won't be any different. It will be good to get away. After everything that's happened she needs a break, an escape. 

 

_But that's part of the reason why he picked her, isn't it?  It's part of the reason why they picked him isn't it?_

_They really don't have any reason to stay._

 

**04:**

 

_Nobody understand what it's like for him to become Ray Fisher again._

Jo thinks she gets it, understands because she was there. But Claire and Ray Fisher led two completely different lives. 

 

Jo didn't hear the screams. She didn't see the blood. She doesn't have the gleam of the knife as it broke soft skin imprinted in her mind.  Jo didn't see the tears in the girls eyes. She wasn't responsible for someone's death. They tell him it's not his fault, he did everything he could, and he saved the operation.

_But then he ruined that too._

 

Blackstone thinks that reading a few fucking reports makes him know just as much as Callaghan. And now he completely understands why Swarek can't stand fucking Blackstone.

 

(Gail knows a few minor details, atleast Blackstone respected him enough not to be the one to share the whole story.)

 

_But on the days when his skin turns pale, the minutes that his hands shake, the times that his voice quivers or the moments when sweat coats his brow; it's the look in her eyes that tells him she might be the only who recognizes how he feels._

\- - -

Gail's been working as a bartender at Parlour since about a month after they moved in. A few months at this place and the girls trust her, Olivia's their friend. Sometimes it frustrates her, how much she knows about Marikov, and how useless it all seems.

 

It's almost been six months, six months and they still don't have enough to get Alexei and Andre.

_Six months, and she can see it wearing away at him everyday._

 

When she comes home that night, she's alone. Luke had a briefing with Jo and Blackstone. When she reaches the apartment, the door's unlocked and the living rooms empty. She takes her heels off at the door, and creeps in quietly. She walks and grabs the gun from the hiding spot in the floor and calls his name. Everythings quiet. And then she hears the sound of glass shattering from the bedroom.

 

She walks slowly toward the bedroom, gun drawn. Her heart pounds as she silently pleads for him to be ok.

And then she hears a thud, followed by what can only be described as the girliest giggle to come out of Luke's mouth.

"Ray..." And she feels an uneasy sensation in her gut, wondering if Jo is in there.

"In here _honey."_

 

 

She opened to the door to find him slumped up against the dresser, broken glass litering the floor. His eyes are glazed over, his smile crooked, a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He shrugs "I dropped it." he slurs.

_Luke wasn't hurt. Luke wasn't with Jo. Luke Callaghan  was very, very drunk._

 

"Sit on the bed and don't move, Luke." she rolls her eyes and walks backward toward to hallway closet, keeping her eyes on him the whole time.

" Shhhh. You can't call me that. Ga..Livia. _Shit."_

She sweeps up the broken glass, and collapses next to him on bed, stealing the whiskey out of his hand. " Any occasion?" she wonders.

 

He looks down at ground and shakes his head. After living with someone from 5 months, it's easy to tell when they're lying. But she doesn't push it. She just takes a long sip and passes the bottle back to him.

"Maybe you should get some rest."

 

"Nah, not yet." his brow furrows and the remnants of a drunken smile fade from his face. They sit in silence for a couple minutes before he whispers "Today's her birthday."

He moves closer to her, putting his arm around her waist and leaning his head on her shoulder. She squeezes his hand and plants a soft kiss on the top of his head. They stay like that for a while, just silently lying on the bed.

 

_Their bed._

\---

For the first two or three months, she had the bed to herself.  But then she notices the bags under his eyes, the stiffness of his back, the way he collapses on the bed with relief in the middle of the day. So one night, she decides to share.

 

It's a good day for them. The Marikovs are finally starting to trust Ray Fisher again. And she can see the mix of emotions plastered on his face.

 

She hates to admit how much she worries about him sometimes. But she can see the anticipation, the determination, the worry and the sadness in him as they enter the apartment that night.

 

He sighs and sits down on the couch.

"Get up Luke." she motions to the bedroom. He raises an eyebrow .

 

"We've been stuck in this house together for months and I'm sick of seeing you walk around moping because you're tired and sore. Just don't steal my blankets, okay?" she doesn't wait for him to follow.

 

They stay as far apart from eachother as possible, opposite sides of the bed, facing opposite directions. And now she's the one losing sleep over how much she want's to move closer to him.

 ---

And even now, after they've been sharing the bed for over a month and her heart still races knowing he's next to her.

 

When he talks about Jenna, it's rare. She never knows what to say. So when he mentions it's her birthday, she wants to tell him it's not his fault. She wants to tell him it's okay. But she just squeezes his hand tighter and doesn't let go.

 

When they wake  the next morning, her head's on his chest and his arms around her waist. She smiles as he opens his eyes and tightens his arms around her.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter. There's a third chapter coming to finish it all up (:

**05:**

_It's been seven months that they've been in this apartment. Seven months since he was Luke and she was Gail. More than half a year of being Ray Fisher and Olivia Parker._

(Sometimes when no one's around and she calls him Luke, he doesn't even realize she's talking to him.)

 

They don't just coexist anymore. They' don't have to think about it now. They're fluid, automatic, completely in sync. When they meet with Blackstone and Rosati. Jo stares hard "You two are awfully convincing." her voice drips with jealousy.

_Gail takes it as a compliment._

 

When they come home from the briefing that night, it's the most _Luke_ he's been in a while. He's sitting on the couch watching football and she's yelling at the tv from the kitchen. He looks back at her, her eyes wild, mouth grossly full of pizza as she yells.

He laughs, "If only Rosati could see you now."

She slides down onto the couch next to him, pulling her legs up onto the cushions and faces him "Still worried about what you're ex almost-fiance or whatever the hell she is thinks ?"

He flinches a little at the word fiance. And she knows it's not even Jo he's thinking about.

"Oh come on, Luke." she rolls her eyes " What the fuck is so special about Andy, that has fucking everybody so in love with her."

 

He opens his mouth to speak, but she starts to speak again as she slides her legs back to the floor moving closer so their legs brush side by side "Ok, I get it. She is pretty great. I'll admit that. And Sam, him and Andy make sense. Nick, well, after me..." she swallows hard and looks at him, her eyes darken and she almost seems angry, outraged  " I could see why he'd want someone like her. But you, it never made sense to me, Luke."

His voice comes out as a whisper "Why's that?"

She furrows her brow, trying to think of the words she needs to stay.

And this time it's Luke that interrupts Gail. "By the way, I don't love her. I'm not sure if I ever did. I think I knew I should, I wanted to "

Her whole demeanor changes, her voice is low and she's playing with her fingers " Andy's my friend _...was my friend,_ but you deserved..." she laughs nervously "I wouldn't say better, no offense.. But different"

He smiles " None taken" and his hands on hers and he's not sure when or how that happened.

"You deserved something more ... on your level. Andy's all love stories and rainbows and crying at weddings. Even Jo, made more sense than that. "

He laughs but the look on his face is completely serious

_" By the way, I don't see how he could wan't anyone else after you."_

 

 

The look on her face is pure confusion. And sometimes it completely shocks him that she honestly has no clue how amazing she is.

Their fingers are threaded together and his eyes are locked on hers. She opens her mouth to speak but she doesn't get the chance. His mouth touches hers without warning and it's different. They've kissed a thousand times by now, it was part of the job. And sometimes, it happened when they were alone too. It wasn't always work but was exhaustion, alcohol, loneliness.  But this time, it was different.

Her legs are in his lap and his hands in her hair, and his mouth on hers like he never planned on pulling away. 

He shoves her back toward the arm of the sofa , pushing his body between her legs. She sucks in a shallow breath as his mouth slides to her neck. Her legs tighten around his waist , "Gail" he breathes against her neck.

 

 

_Gail._

(It was the first time she heard him call her that in what seemed like eternity.  She was lucky if he even called her Peck.)

Luke tried to stay "in character", calling her Liv or Oliva. Babe or sweetheart around the Russians.

 

_But this was Luke and Gail now, not Ray and Olivia._

Her hands tangle in his hair pulling him down , she needs him as close as he could get.

"You there, Ray? " he rolls off her automatically. She sits up straight. "It's fucking, Jo"  she's still trying to catch her breath.

"Be right there, Claire." he grunts as he adjusts his shirt and Gail can't even hide the disappointment.

 - - -      

 

 

 

**06:**

                                                         

_8 years ago._

 

They were getting close, they were so close to wrapping this up and going home.

 

"Vodlova's girl, Jenna. I feel like she's going to help us break this whole thing open." Jo smiled, triumphant.

 

Two days later, Claire Fisher introduces her friend Jenna to her brother, Ray.

 

_Two days later, Jo Rosatti accidentally reunites Jenna Woods with her foster brother, Luke Callaghan ._

 

Marikov owned a small, seedy strip club downtown, Claire's a waitress and a shot girl there.

Luke comes in that night to pick up Jo. Jo wants him to come so she can introduce him to Jenna. And he can see it in her eyes what the plan is.

Friends only get you so far. Jo wants Luke to seduce the girl, find out everything she knows.  So he walks into the club that night smiling with a gleam in his eye, trying the best to look the part. He walks into the backroom.

Jo's facing him, talking to a tall , thin girl with long dark hair whom he can only imagine is Jenna. Jo touches the girls shoulder smiling toward him "Jen, I'd like you to meet my brother , Ray." she says, motioning for the other girl to turn around.

 

 

  _And when she turns around he's an angry teenager again, and she's the little girl with the two braids that dangled down her back and the missing front tooth. The only one who could make him smile._  

He swallows hard and shakes her hand, neither of them say a word. Jo stares at him hard, eyebrow cocked, lips turned down. He's at a loss.

_Should he play it cool? Should he turn her? Should he tell the detectives?_

But then Jo goes to use the bathroom and she moves closer to him, and whispers in his ear.

"Don't worry, I won't tell.Whats your angle?"

 

 

_He needs to make something up, and fast._

It's clear that Jenna thinks he and Jo are conning the Marikovs and he tell by her eyes, she wants in.

Or atleast is pretending too.

"Meet us at the park, 8am."

Jenna nods and smiles as Jo walks toward them. He motions for the back exit and hurries Jo into the street.

\---

 

 

**07:**

 

" It'll only be a few more days. Good work." It's been 11 months as Ray and Olivia, and finally they have enough to put the Marikovs away forever. 

Luke looks disappointed. She knows nothing will do Jenna's death justice for him. Putting them away barely helps.

But the thing is, Gails disappointed too. She should be happy, her first longterm undercover assignment is a success, but she's not. She's not ready to give him up. To go back to normal.

_She just wants him. And she can't admit it._

_\---_

 

Things have been different since the night Jo interrupted them. It's on and off. Hot and cold. Pushing and pulling. Moments of weakness, followed by days of silence.

Usually he's the one who stares too long, touches too much, tells her how he feels, and every time it happens she just feels sick. Sometimes she indulges it, she'll squeeze back when he touches her hand, she wont flinch when he holds her in bed at night, she'll give in and put her lips on his. But then she'll tense up, swear it doesn't mean anything.

 

_They both know she's lying._

Things have been busy lately, they're getting close to ten months and Rosati keeps telling them they're almost ready.

One night the Marikovs are at a wedding.

(Gail seems shocked, _"Criminals are still people, Peck."_ ) 

 

 

They finally have the night off.

"Thank God." Gail sighs as she collapses on the couch , hugs a pillow and closes her eyes. "Sleep." She hears the fridge slam shut and then he's setting two six packs in front her with a grin. He lifts up her legs and sits down place them on his lap. "Fuck sleep, Gail. We have a night off." 

She raises her eyebrows. This is not the Luke Callaghan who's been awake three or four days at a time, the Luke who is out late at night transporting heroin for men he hates, who forgets to eat and barely knows his own name. And she can tell by the wideness of his smile, the shape of his eyes, that he's forcing this.

"You sure, you don't want to just collapse into a coma until Detective Bitch comes banging on the door?"  she asks.

But Luke's already halfway finished a beer, "Come on Peck, drink."

She shrugs and doesn't put up a fight. "Hand me a beer then, Homicide."

Three hours later and she doesn't even know how they ended up finished the beers and close to the end of a bottle of Russian vodka. "Atleast fucking Marikov's good for something." she laughs and sticks her middle finger in the air as she downs the last of the bottle. She looks at him, eyes focused on nothing and swallowing hard. That probably wasn't the best thing to say.  "Sorry" she whispers.

"Luke." she's not laughing anymore. "Remember when I went to visit Perik in jail?" her voice quivers when she speaks the name of the man who abducted her. "Remember what you said to me after?"

His arm tightens around her as he nods.

"You're brave. Even braver than me." she forces a laugh and moves her hands to his face. He flinches, and breathes in hard.

 

 

_And for the first time in a few months, she was stuck wanting him and he was the one pushing her away._

His eyes are glazed and her stomach burns from the alcohol. She turns his face back toward her, and by the time his name leaves her lips he's catching it with his mouth.

His hands are rough, fumbling all over her body. Her alcohol scented breath is hot on his neck as he scoops her up and brings her into the bedroom.

 

_And in the morning when they wake up, they're tangled in the sheets, and eachother, clothes strewn across the room. He pulls her in and smiles. She shrugs away from his grip and almost jumps from the bed , shielding her body with a sheet. "I was so drunk last night."_

It's not supposed to be like this.


End file.
